“If you take drugs again, Clare, you will end up with schizophrenia. It may not happen the first or the second time, but if not, it will definitely be the third.”My body started to tremble with fear; tears filled my eyes and spilled over my cheeks. I buried my face in my hands; what had my world come to?It was August 2011 and I was sitting in a hospital room talking to a doctor. I had just been to hell and back, arrested and locked up in a psychiatric ward in Berlin after suffering my second psychotic episode. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I thought schizophrenia was for weirdos and drug addicts … I was just a fun-loving, music-loving party girl; how could this be my reality?My thoughts flooded back to all the times I went out to Barrick with Lucy, when we went giggling into the bathroom stalls to take our pills. I remembered the feeling of the bass as it thumped in my chest and the adrenalin rush of being in my favourite nightclub, surrounded by people all having a good time. I remembered the shots that we did, the guys that we flirted with, and how much we used to laugh. I thought back to all the music festivals where I’d run amok with Cory, Dylan and the crew. I’d sit on someone’s shoulders looking out across the crowd of thousands, pulsing with energy, laughter and love. How could it have led me here? To a place where those who had been suffering, hurting, craving, had nowhere else to go.If you are a recreational drug taker, maybe this will give you a reality kick. If you're thinking about experimenting, maybe you'll think twice. If you're a parent, afraid that your teenager is going down that road, this will give you an insight into their world. But maybe it wont, maybe it'll just be another drug story amidst a thousand other warning tales. But one message must be gleaned from this harrowing account - our minds, our mental health, is the single most important part of our being, and just too precious to gamble with. ~~~This brutally honest account of Clare's journey to health and happiness will, at times, bring you to tears or have you tearing at the pages in frustration. Striking a chord with parents, social workers and young people across the world, this story offers a glimpse of a lifestyle many young party people live today. Written as a cautionary tale, including chapters from her Mum, friend and doctor, Clare's hope is that everyone has access to proper education around drug use and mental illness, and that public discussion centres around the reality that young people do, and will continue to take drugs and we therefore need to do everything we can to keep them safe~~~
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