Lendle

Sketches New and Old, Complete by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) : (full image Illustrated)CONTENTS.PART 1.MY WATCHPOLITICAL ECONOMYTHE JUMPING FROGJOURNALISM IN TENNESSEETHE STORY OF THE BAD LITTLE BOYTHE STORY OF THE GOOD LITTLE BOYA COUPLE OF POEMS BY TWAIN AND MOORENIAGARAPART 2.ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTSTO RAISE POULTRYEXPERIENCE OF THE MCWILLIAMSES WITH MEMBRANOUS CROUPMY FIRST LITERARY VENTUREHOW THE AUTHOR WAS SOLD IN NEWARKTHE OFFICE BOREJOHNNY GREERTHE FACTS IN THE CASE OF THE GREAT BEEF CONTRACTTHE CASE OF GEORGE FISHERPART 3.DISGRACEFUL PERSECUTION OF A BOYTHE JUDGES "SPIRITED WOMAN"INFORMATION WANTEDSOME LEARNED FABLES, FOR GOOD OLD BOYS AND GIRLSMY LATE SENATORIAL SECRETARYSHIPA FASHION ITEMRILEY-NEWSPAPER CORRESPONDENTA FINE OLD MANSCIENCE vs. LUCKPART 4.THE LATE BENJAMIN FRANKLINMR. BLOKE'S ITEMA MEDIEVAL ROMANCEPETITION CONCERNING COPYRIGHTAFTER-DINNER SPEECHLIONIZING MURDERERSA NEW CRIMEA CURIOUS DREAMA TRUE STORYPART 5.THE SIAMESE TWINSSPEECH AT THE SCOTTISH BANQUET IN LONDONA GHOST STORYTHE CAPITOLINE VENUSSPEECH ON ACCIDENT INSURANCEJOHN CHINAMAN IN NEW YORKHOW I EDITED AN AGRICULTURAL PAPERTHE PETRIFIED MANMY BLOODY MASSACREPART 6.THE UNDERTAKER'S CHATCONCERNING CHAMBERMAIDSAURELIA'S UNFORTUNATE YOUNG MAN"AFTER" JENKINSABOUT BARBERS"PARTY CRIES" IN IRELANDTHE FACTS CONCERNING THE RECENT RESIGNATIONHISTORY REPEATS ITSELFHONORED AS A CURIOSITYPART 7.FIRST INTERVIEW WITH ARTEMUS WARDCANNIBALISM IN THE CARSTHE KILLING OF JULIUS CAESAR "LOCALIZED"THE WIDOW'S PROTESTTHE SCRIPTURAL PANORAMISTCURING A COLDA CURIOUS PLEASURE EXCURSIONRUNNING FOR GOVERNORA MYSTERIOUS VISITSKETCHES NEW AND OLD Part 1.MY WATCH AN INSTRUCTIVE LITTLE TALE [Written about 1870.]My beautiful new watch had run eighteen months without losing or gaining, and without breaking any part of its machinery or stopping. I had come to believe it infallible in its judgments about the time of day, and to consider its constitution and its anatomy imperishable. But at last, one night, I let it run down. I grieved about it as if it were a recognized messenger and forerunner of calamity. But by and by I cheered up, set the watch by guess, and commanded my bodings and superstitions to depart. Next day I stepped into the chief jeweler's to set it by the exact time, and the head of the establishment took it out of my hand and proceeded to set it for me. Then he said, "She is four minutes slow-regulator wants pushing up." I tried to stop him—tried to make him understand that the watch kept perfect time. But no; all this human cabbage could see was that the watch was four minutes slow, and the regulator must be pushed up a little; and so, while I danced around him in anguish, and implored him to let the watch alone, he calmly and cruelly did the shameful deed. My watch began to gain. It gained faster and faster day by day. Within the week it sickened to a raging fever, and its pulse went up to a hundred and fifty in the shade. At the end of two months it had left all the timepieces of the town far in the rear, and was a fraction over thirteen days ahead of the almanac. It was away into November enjoying the snow, while the October leaves were still turning. It hurried up house rent, bills payable, and such things, in such a ruinous way that I could not abide it. I took it to the watchmaker to be regulated. He asked me if I had ever had it repaired. I said no, it had never needed any repairing. He looked a look of vicious happiness and eagerly pried the watch open, and then put a small dice-box into his eye and peered into its machinery. He said it wanted cleaning and oiling, besides regulating—come in a week. After being cleaned and oiled, and regulated, my watch slowed down to that degree that it ticked like a tolling bell. I began to be left by trains,