"Wingman Is The Funniest Story I've Ever Read"
"It's Like Hangover But Even Funnier"
It was all fun and games until my friend Luie made a big mistake...
We Met These Two Girls In a Bar, Had Some Sex and Then...
It turned out to be the 11th worst day of my life. Sure, the sex was good. But I'm pretty sure the police weren't happy after we accidentally set Home Depot on fire.
Wingman Excerpt
A fair piece into the 11th worst day of my life, I was running down the street at 4 a.m. with most of my clothes off. I had bright orange paint all over my chest, and my good friend Luie Grant’s dick in my right hand.
That’s not exactly right. In my hand I had a plastic cooler. Inside the cooler were a bunch of those chemical ice packs. In the middle of the packs was a plastic bag, and Luie’s actual dick was in the bag. I’d been running for half an hour, and orange streams of paint-sweat were rolling down my naked chest. I could hardly breathe or feel my legs. The hospital was still about a mile away.
Taniqua was probably still chasing me, but I hadn’t seen her since a few corners back. I cut another hard right just to be sure and almost ran into a cop.
He looked me over, saw my missing eyebrows and scorched hair. He took in the chunk missing from my right ear and the nasty cut on one hand that already felt infected. He inventoried the orange paint all over, and the bruises everywhere it wasn’t, my bare feet and my lack of a shirt. One hand slid to just beside his tazer.
“Top of the morning to you, sir. Is everything all right?”
What Readers Are Saying
"One of the best short crime stories on Kindle!"
"What a thriller!"
"Definitely a fun read."
About The Author
Jake F. Simons grew up reading weird fiction by the likes of Ray Bradbury, H.P. Lovecraft, Fritz Lieber, Joe R. Lansdale and Christopher Moore. When not writing, he spends his time teaching kenpo karate and playing tabletop role-playing games. He lives in Oregon with his wife, sons, cats, a one-armed physicist and his spinster aunt.
If you're looking for some great fratire about the hilarious adventures of drinking buddies, you'll love Wingman!
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