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Straight to Soulless…my journey to gay, is three distinct books in one. Leaving Martha, Finding Michelle, and Loving Lauren take the reader through ten years of Ella Sandwell’s tumultuous journey from suburban American Mother of two, to a woman who has to find her way back from broken and jaded in the end. Sandwell shares her life story, beginning with Leaving Martha, her wonderfully gripping, and sometimes painful coming out story. Finding Michelle reveals Sandwell’s need for closure to the whereabouts of her first lover Michelle, and also shows her working her way through women and Lesbian relationship issues, while having no examples, boundaries, or rules on how to have loving experiences with women. Loving Lauren finds Ella in hopelessly love with a deeply closeted woman. Used by the very people she trusts, Ella reaches a form of rock bottom after she plays the game of love and loses.
Documented within the context of changing times, raising children, several locations, many lovers, and discovering her sexuality, Straight to Soulless is full of confrontation, women, fame, money, love, sex, friendship, death, and takes you to some amazing places all over the world. Written for Lesbians on any part of the spectrum of sexuality, this autobiographical series has something everyone can relate to from their own journey to gay, as Sandwell lives hers hard. She flails through relationships, while trying to find her true north on a moral compass she is ill equipped to navigate. Experimenting with women, while having no examples on how to be a Lesbian, she works her way through her desires, and tries to fit within the parameters of societal, religious, political, and familial pressures at the same time. With humor and angst, love, and plenty of sexual encounters, Sandwell finds herself at an unavoidable crossroads. The culmination described, watching the point of her story change over the years as she searches, finds, loses, and then regains her authentic self throughout, is indeed, what makes this a must read for all women in flux.

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