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Slime and Punishment - Gil Gevins

Slime and Punishment

Gil Gevins
Amazon Digital Services LLC , English
31 ratings

Slime and Punishment is a very funny novel. Well-written, fast-paced and highly entertaining, the story revolves around a midlife crisis of such grotesque and gargantuan proportions, it obliterates the psyches of everyone in its path. Our hero, Dr. Karl Sanderson, knee-surgeon to the stars, suddenly finds himself, at the age of forty-nine, seized by an irresistible urge to have sex with someone other than his wife, something which (amazingly) he has never done. But his is a yearning indelibly tainted with guilt and the fear of being caught. Eventually, he winds up trolling the colorful but tattered streets of Havana, Cuba in search of a young woman with whom he can “safely” comingle his bodily fluids. In the process of satisfying his nefarious cravings, the good doctor, with the aid of a gay pimp from Puerto Vallarta, digs himself into a hilarious hole from which he may never emerge.Dark humor, romance, offbeat engaging characters and a twisting turning plot make Slime and Punishment a fast entertaining read, as the story builds to a laugh-strewn tragicomic climax. Excerpt: From that point forward the afternoon grew increasingly improbable. Silvio decided that he needed to speak to me alone, “man-to-man” out in the backyard, which turned out to be an infinitesimally small square of bare concrete, surrounded on all sides by more bare concrete. It’s only occupant was a lonely little poinsettia, literally dying for company.“Since they locked up my father,” Silvio informed me without preamble, “I am the head of the family.”“What?” I inquired fearfully, “did they lock him up for?” Nothing violent, I prayed; that sort of behavior was known to run in families.Silvio ignored my question—a dubious sign, at best—and said, “What are your intentions towards my sister?”“Intentions?” What a question! The honest answer would have been, “To continue pillaging and plundering her wonderful wee body until it’s time to return to the bosom of my family.” But I opted instead for a show of silent confusion. If only the large young man would step back a foot or two.“You lay a hand on her,” Silvio said with an odd lack of emotion, as if he were reading from a bad script, “I’ll smash your face in.”Understandably, I was speechless.“Did you hear what I said?” Silvio demanded.“Oh, yes, absolutely. You know, Silvio, Mariela and I met only recently. We’ve barely had an opportunity to get to know one another.”“What do you mean, get to know one another?” Silvio snarled, crowding me with his too-large chest up against the hot wall.“I assure you, Silvio, my intentions towards your sister are entirely, ah, honorable?”“I know what you foreigners are like,” Silvio said. “You can’t fool me. I’ll break your face. I’ll break your legs. I’ll break your hands. You touch my sister, cabron, you’ll be giving rabies shots with your mouth!”Giving rabies shots with my mouth?“Silvio, please, there’s nothing to be concerned about. Calm down.”“Don’t tell me to calm down!”“All right, Silvio. You get just as upset as you want. Let yourself go. Kick the wall a few times. Punch a bus.”“Listen to me!” Silvio ordered, as if I had another option—our faces were so close I could have licked his chin. “You touch her tits just once, you’re going to bleed for the rest of your life!”

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