* WARNING * Adult Content. Lowbrow humor with copious puerile and pernicious references to dog “scooting” behavior, farting, reindeer sex, a man talking to his package, cow sex, Christmastime sex, hemorrhoids, stalking, Wall Street greed, plumber’s crack, and pet wokking, among other things.
20 crazed lyrics in all!
This is a collection of 18 off-the-wall, mostly naughty lyric parodies of top country songs, plus 2 extra lyric parodies of oldies.
BUTT SCOOTIN’ BOOGIE - parody of “Boot Scootin’ Boogie” as sung by Brooks & Dunn.
—country dogs know how to “get down, move it ‘round” and party!
DON’T FINK - parody of “Don’t Blink” as sung by Kenny Chesney.
—how Sopranos cast member Big Pussy came (no pun intended) to sleep with the fishes.
FART LIKE MINE - parody of “Heart Like Mine” as sung by Miranda Lambert.
—sorry about having Jesus fart, but hey, if he could turn water into wine …
GET ME WINGS - parody of “Give Me Wings” as sung by Michael Johnson.
—the heck with flying; if you really love me, get me something good from the KFC drive-thru.
GRANDMA GOT BENT OVER BY A REINDEER - parody of “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” as sung by Dr. Elmo.
—the tragic result of age, alcohol, and Alzheimer’s.
HE STOPPED WEARIN’ HIS TOUPEE - parody of “He Stopped Lovin’ Her Today” as sung by George Jones.
—male pattern baldness gone awry.
HELLO BALLS - parody of “Hello Walls” as sung by Faron Young.
—singing to his package, a man laments love lost and moves on to Thumbalina and her four sisters.
HOW ‘BOUT THEM GIRL COWS - parody of “How ‘Bout Them Cowgirls” as sung by George Strait.
—wasted cowboy chortles the true meaning of livestock domestication.
JENNY, TAKE MY MEAL - parody of “Jesus, Take The Wheel” as sung by Carrie Underwood.
—last time she went to the beach, she came back with three harpoon wounds.
KNOCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE - parody of “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” as sung by Brenda Lee.
—there are five levels of drinking, six if you live in a trailer park, they say.
MAMA FRIED - parody of “Mama Tried” as sung by Merle Haggard.
—childhood obesity brought on by a miscreant mama.
MY WIFE AIN’T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL - parody of “Life Ain’t Always Beautiful” as sung by Gary Allan.
—ah, the joys of marriage.
RING OF FIRE - parody of “Ring Of Fire” as sung by Johnny Cash.
—talk about ‘rhoid rage.
STALKING AFTER MIDNIGHT - parody of “Walking After Midnight” as sung by Patsy Cline.
—typical redneck dating behavior.
STICKUP MAN - parody of “Pickup Man” as sung by Joe Diffie.
—why drive a truck when you can wield a Glock?
UP AGAINST THE WALL, WALL STREET MOTHER - parody of “Up Against The Wall, Redneck Mother” as sung by Jerry Jeff Walker.
—nailing our corporate kin to the Wall of Shame.
WHATEVER IT IS - parody of “Whatever It Is” as sung by the Zac Brown Band.
—quick, somebody call the Center for Disease Control!
WHOOPS, I FARTED LOVIN’ YOU - parody of “Just Got Started Lovin’ You” as sung by James Otto.
—this guy’s in the running for president of the Blue Flame Club.
EXTRA #1 - MY BOYFRIEND’S CRACK - parody of “My Boyfriend’s Back” as sung by The Angels.
—no drugs here, just a plumber’s crack celebration.
EXTRA #2 - WOKKIN’ THE DOG - parody of “Walking The Dog” as sung by Rufus Thomas.
—Shih Tzu with Snow Peas, anyone? Kung Pao Bow-Wow?
Sample from “RING OF FIRE”:
‘Rhoids are a burnin’ thing
And they make a fiery ring
Hooked by spice desire
Lunch came out through a ring of fire
Lunch came out through a burnin’ ring of fire
I sat down, down, down
And the pain shot higher
Oh, it burns, burns, burns
My ring of fire, my ring of fire
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Tags for this book
- big pussy
- carrie underwood
- george strait
- got bent
- michael johnson
- patsy cline
- joe diffie
- kenny chesney
- brenda lee
- miranda lambert
- ring of fire
- fart like mine
- walking after midnight
- pao bow-wow
- gary allan
- jerry jeff walker
- rufus thomas
- my boyfriend's back
- shih tzu
- george jones
- center for disease control
- merle haggard
- johnny cash
- zac brown band
- james otto
- blue flame club