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WARNING Adult Content. Lowbrow humor with copious puerile and pernicious references to dog "scooting" behavior, farting, reindeer sex, a man talking to his package, cow sex, Christmastime sex, hemorrhoids, stalking, Wall Street greed, plumber's crack, and pet wokking, among other things.


20 crazed lyrics in all!

This is a collection of 18 off-the-wall, mostly naughty lyric parodies of top country songs, plus 2 extra lyric parodies of oldies.


Contents:

BUTT SCOOTIN' BOOGIE - parody of "Boot Scootin' Boogie" as sung by Brooks & Dunn.
--country dogs know how to "get down, move it 'round" and party!

DON'T FINK - parody of "Don't Blink" as sung by Kenny Chesney.
--how Sopranos cast member Big Pussy came (no pun intended) to sleep with the fishes.

FART LIKE MINE - parody of "Heart Like Mine" as sung by Miranda Lambert.
--sorry about having Jesus fart, but hey, if he could turn water into wine ...

GET ME WINGS - parody of "Give Me Wings" as sung by Michael Johnson.
--the heck with flying; if you really love me, get me something good from the KFC drive-thru.

GRANDMA GOT BENT OVER BY A REINDEER - parody of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" as sung by Dr. Elmo.
--the tragic result of age, alcohol, and Alzheimer's.

HE STOPPED WEARIN' HIS TOUPEE - parody of "He Stopped Lovin' Her Today" as sung by George Jones.
--male pattern baldness gone awry.

HELLO BALLS - parody of "Hello Walls" as sung by Faron Young.
--singing to his package, a man laments love lost and moves on to Thumbalina and her four sisters.

HOW 'BOUT THEM GIRL COWS - parody of "How 'Bout Them Cowgirls" as sung by George Strait.
--wasted cowboy chortles the true meaning of livestock domestication.

JENNY, TAKE MY MEAL - parody of "Jesus, Take The Wheel" as sung by Carrie Underwood.
--last time she went to the beach, she came back with three harpoon wounds.

KNOCKIN' AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE - parody of "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" as sung by Brenda Lee.
--there are five levels of drinking, six if you live in a trailer park, they say.

MAMA FRIED - parody of "Mama Tried" as sung by Merle Haggard.
--childhood obesity brought on by a miscreant mama.

MY WIFE AIN'T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL - parody of "Life Ain't Always Beautiful" as sung by Gary Allan.
--ah, the joys of marriage.

RING OF FIRE - parody of "Ring Of Fire" as sung by Johnny Cash.
--talk about 'rhoid rage.

STALKING AFTER MIDNIGHT - parody of "Walking After Midnight" as sung by Patsy Cline.
--typical redneck dating behavior.

STICKUP MAN - parody of "Pickup Man" as sung by Joe Diffie.
--why drive a truck when you can wield a Glock?

UP AGAINST THE WALL, WALL STREET MOTHER - parody of "Up Against The Wall, Redneck Mother" as sung by Jerry Jeff Walker.
--nailing our corporate kin to the Wall of Shame.

WHATEVER IT IS - parody of "Whatever It Is" as sung by the Zac Brown Band.
--quick, somebody call the Center for Disease Control!

WHOOPS, I FARTED LOVIN' YOU - parody of "Just Got Started Lovin' You" as sung by James Otto.
--this guy's in the running for president of the Blue Flame Club.

EXTRA #1 - MY BOYFRIEND'S CRACK - parody of "My Boyfriend's Back" as sung by The Angels.
--no drugs here, just a plumber's crack celebration.

EXTRA #2 - WOKKIN' THE DOG - parody of "Walking The Dog" as sung by Rufus Thomas.
--Shih Tzu with Snow Peas, anyone? Kung Pao Bow-Wow?


Sample from "RING OF FIRE":

'Rhoids are a burnin' thing
And they make a fiery ring
Hooked by spice desire
Lunch came out through a ring of fire

(Chorus):
Lunch came out through a burnin' ring of fire
I sat down, down, down
And the pain shot higher
Oh, it burns, burns, burns
My ring of fire, my ring of fire


Sample from "KNOCKIN' AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE":

Knockin' around the Christmas Tree
In my beer-stained double-wide
Misteltoe hung on my wee-wee
And there's nowhere you can hide

You will get a semi-mental feeling
When you hear Bubb

Genres for this book